I Dreamt I Was a Whitesnake Girl in a Music Video Featuring Everyone I'd Ever Dated
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Cindy picked me up in hr white toyota pick up truck there was cememnt crumbled in the bed she was the first girl i had ever dated. I climbed onto the bench seat there’s no center console to separate you from the driver. I glanced into the bed of the truck. She’s said “Oh, don’t minfd the cement it came with the truck 2 Greg picked me up in his Lexus i didn’t realize this was a date , or I was unsure whether it was or not because we were just going to a waffle house it was strange to drive a lexus to a waffle house it made me insist on paying more than i normally would, at least for my half of the meal. guys that clearly have money--i try to act like i’m more feminist than i am broke, whcih is not the truth 3 this guy goes by the name radar he doesmn’t have a car he picks me up by walking to my house he’s waiting on my front porhc when i get home from work he says”i want to take you somewheere” and i’m confuswd because i know he doesn’t have a car or any money he takes me to the goodwill outlet store they take everything that hasn’t been sold. we walk there it’s closed we jump inside the dumbsters and feel how all the fabric feels against our bodies. 4 jonas takes me on a bike ride it’s been a long time since i’ve ridden a bike i dodn’t learn until i was 12 i’m scared. I borrow one of his it has those little baskets on the petals to put yr feet in i start getting the hang of riding the boike it feels free i’m enjoying myself. We get to where we are going which is a serene lake. He stops. When i try to stop myself i forget that there are baskets on the pedals for my feet. I get caught and fall over. We laugh. 5 I go to a party on my own meeting some friends there but thinking “i want to go home alone”. He comes up to talk to me i’m very whickey drunk and he asks me about literature i talk at great length about literature it’s nice to be whiskey drunk and think about things other than kissing somebody though i was thinking about that too. We moved our mouths in the form of talking instead. 6 I go to a small gethering at a friend’s house i’m interested in this guy i drank a lot of coffee i was very excitable. at one point for somer eason or another several drinks and cigarettes in we ended up hiding in a closet together i remember the feel of his stubble on my finger as i ran it under his chin and brought his face close to mine. 7 we played king of the mountain on the playground near his apartment. i won. the bruise that bloomed on my shin was worth it. 8 he’s a comedian. we laugh and laugh and laugh i think finally somebody who hgets my jokes. on our second date i went to see his comedy show. It didn’t go well he became morose and talked at me for a long time about his family problems we did not laugh nor did we see each other again 9 josie wants to take me to a baseball game I insist that I hate baseball she says “it doesn’t matter everyone kind of hates baseball but its a good excuse to have to sit next to someone for 5 hours, with no reason to break the conversation but no reason to make it either” 10 it’s halloween i’m dressed as an artist who had a pet meerkat. She and her husband are swingers she insists that I should go to burning man one day: “you should go to burning man you’d love it”. When I tell her I’m going to a different bar she says i don’t want to lose you can we exchange phone numbers i give her my phone number she says I have another question “can I kiss you?”I kiss her her lips are very thin. It was nice to be swooned over 11 i go to his house he’s having people over there’s a bonfire i’m tyrying very hard to be impressive it has been many months since i’ve been romantic with anybody. At one point his friend topples over in his chair near the fire and i think that we’ve bonded over this humorous moment it gets late, he gets into bed, i crawl into bed with him which is apparently not the correct thing to do. 12 i go to a picnic that his family is throwing it was a strange way to spend a date but I’ve been lonely and i think it’d be nice to pretend to be part of someone’s family. The potato salad is not good but i eat it because i don’t want to get too drubnk. 13 this is the date in which i realize it’s a mistake to go to dinner with somebody truly, truly hungry. There is no time to make conversation unless you want to talk with food in your mouth. I can;t decide betwween the two, so I do just that. I try to save face by saying “I’m a woman of large appetites” thinking that this is a sexy thing to say. Maybe it is. I didn’t get any feedback on it . 14 I’m in high school my first boyfriend had just broken up with me my friend’s older brother sees my sad poem posted on myspace and asks me out. we go to a place called “the fridge” where kids hang out and smoke pot and do graffiti. I think that this is a very cool place to take me. he seems to think so too. 15 i met cynthia through ok cupis. i thought “cynthia what a stereotypicla lesbian name”. we had a shared interest in tarot cards and bossa nova music. we went to a salsa club. we were the only girl couple there, which was fine, it was only strange that we were the only poeple under 60 there the old people nodded at us knowingly as if to say “go get em, girls. go get em” 16 we walked with my dog to a park this felt like a very healthful thing to do. we got ice cream along the waythis felt like a very wholesome thing to do. halfway through the date i get bored becausd healthful and wholesome are not thigns i’m ready for yet. 17 i was intrigued by his accentmore than anything. It was the first time i’ve let someboduy talk more than me. this does not mean that i’m not a good listenere. i am. but it is more important to me that the other person is a good listerneer than to show them that i am. I stole a beer from the bar and met him on the patio where he had rolled me a cigarette. when he saw my extra drink he gasped and said “you little stoler. you are usch a little stoler!” 18 we shared a joint as he worked as he worked on a mural. i was doing some sort of story, i don’t remeber now what, that involved me talking to himabnout his mural. later we shared a joint in bed post-coitus. “i really liked your mural” i lied before i left. 19 he had a body like egon schiele, or an egon scheile painting, either way. i was interested in the fact that the outlines of his body contained more energy than the insides and that he seemed to writh along with each of his sentences. to kiss him at the end of the night was to put a harness on him. i held his hair like reigns. 20 i though it would be very romantic to take him on top of my car. it is indeed a very romantic thing to do on nice evenings, or even on chilly evenings with blankets. it gives a sense of purpose. We had no purpose but we made one. 21 we ran into each other at a dance party. we dated for 3 years. 22 i was seeiong someone else he was my friend he wanted to be more at the time and now that he’s gone i’m willing to give him more because he can’t take it. 23 i went to his place and he cooked me dinner. i didn’t have sex with him that night because it would have felt cliche and also the dinner was heavy and i ate a lot of it. the next time i saw him i offered to get him drunk. And he did. And I did. And we flopped around like fishes in bed. 24 we were walking toward the train station going into downtown. it was the third date or so where i needed to test how much i cared. i do this by seeeing how hard he would fumble to find connection if i stopped talking so much. This is how i remedy the problem of talking too much on the first two dates. I liek to see the questions convulse out of their mouths, hard fought, when the conversation suddenly ceases: asking me when my birthday is, acting like they care about my sign. To see how hard they’ll work to relate to me. I'm an aquarius. 25 Mike took me to a happening at an art space. We stood around a warehouse and smoked with the happenign’s curators i asked but couldn’t get a clear answer on what the happeninng was about or whether the “happening” was happening becuse no one had really shown up. |